Page 11 - Essay Awakenings Reloaded by Paul McCloskey
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open he was to inspiration or divine influence, how open was I to the creative
process, of allowing, in the making of my work? This is the ongoing question
that perhaps takes a lifetime to fully answer and for me painting is a lifetime
pursuit. The great English painter Howard Hodgkin makes reference to this in
his letter to John Elderfield, ‘one is continually making the kind of value
judgements’ asking the same old questions: is this picture better than that one?
Why? Is it more expressive? Is it of better quality? And of course the best is the
enemy of the good, etc. (1995, p.217)
John I. H. Bauer says, in ‘Nature and abstraction’ ‘I think the only
pressing question in painting is: When are you through? For my own part it is
when I know I’ve ‘come out the other side.’ This occasional and sudden
awareness is the truest image for me. The clockwise path of this recognition
suppresses a sense of victory; it is an ironic encounter and more of a mirror than
a picture.’ (1958, p.18). This is one of the crucial questions I have asked myself
over the past twenty five years as a painter and it is truly difficult to answer,
however a point comes when I know I have to let go or perhaps if has let me
go? a catharsis has taken place and released me from that particular work, until
the next one, this is when I become an observer to its creation, that is probably
one of the most compelling desires for me as a painter, is to witness it as a
creation.